Bitter Sweet


“I would never let anyone hit me, I’d leave !!!”

Easier said than done …

“why doesn’t she “JUST” leave? We all ask.
I chatted with a sister after church and as women always do, we went from one topic to another and we just connected. She told me a very dark secret that shocked me.

I had never chatted with her before that day but her family was one that I admired from a distance. They were an ideal family in my eyes; husband, wife, daughter and son.

I never understood what would keep a woman in such a terrible relationship.
I was always judgmental calling such women fools until I came face to face with a victim who was completely honest and transparent. I realized that –

“When you love you wish to do things for, you wish to sacrifice for,
you wish to serve” – Ernest Hemingway

• How can she leave?

. How can she leave a man who has changed her life and that of her family?

. A man who cared enough to improve everyone in her immediate family:
– Her mum has a shop where she sews and earns a living.
– Her immediate younger sister just graduated from the university and
the other two are in school.
All thanks to her abusive husband …

• How can she leave a man who loves his children so dearly and sacrifices everything to give them the best that life has to offer?

• How can she leave a man who gives all his time outside of work to help her around the house while chatting and having hearty laughs with her?

• How can she leave a man who is committed to the things that pertain to God?

• How can she leave a man who admits he has a problem and needs help?

• How can she leave a man who has taken obvious steps to be better?


Some situations are soooo complicated …

#JustWritingAloud AL




*…Blog picture [domestic_violence] gotten from through google search.

8 thoughts on “Bitter Sweet

  1. The Bible said “For this things I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he (Lord) said unto me,” My grace is sufficient for thee:for my strength is made Perfect in weakness.” Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ ‘ sake:for when I am weak, then am I strong. ( 2 Corinthians 12:9-10)


  2. Complicated indeed. More of God’s grace is what she needs. At least the man agrees to having a problem and desires a change. ……….God says only believe and quit asking “How”


  3. Her case is better but she still has to be careful.its not just that he has admitted it, has he also taken steps to correct it? The internet is ablaze with Ronke Shonde’s murder by her husband. She stayed cos she was adviced to and whatever thing else she was told…..
    She should be careful sha and pray and receive advice from God on what to do next. God loves her too much and i really do not think if her life is at risk, she should stay cos he changed her family’s lives…. but thats just a personal thought. 🙂


    1. Thank you Aijay. I was going to say almost the same thing. Yes God is with us through reproaches, heartaches etc but we can’t just take a part of the Bible and hold unto that scripture and forget to read the rest…there comes a time in life when one has to put her foot down (especially in abusive relationships) and say enough is enough! One has to be wise. So do you keep taking the abuse till you die or lose a part of your body? You have to speak to up and get help from others. If he has agreed he has a problem, fine! Be behind him throughout the rehabilitation but from a distance. Time heals all wounds so sometimes being apart so he can get better might be best.
      We might say love love love but sometimes people love without thinking. See you sure you’re still with that abusive man because you love him or just cos you feel you love him? More like you feel you owe him cos of all has done and cos of the kids. My dear, no woman was placed on this earth to be a punching bag. She was made to be a help mate; to be a support to the man. Sometimes we as women need to stop thinking about everyone around and think about yourself. It’s not selfishness but it’s a way of taking care of yourself…
      Just my thoughts…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hmmm… Abuse is one topic that really breaks my heart.
        I can not comprehend why any man would desire to use his own wife as a punching bag.
        Even children get to an age where you shouldn’t spank, flog, beat or hit them anymore.
        The Bible makes it clear that a man should love his wife as his own self even unto death.
        The big issue is that a lot of people do not even know what constitutes an abuse in order to get out of the relationship before things get fatal. Maybe I should use this medium to state that even one slap amounts to an abuse. Truth is, No two situations are the same.
        I recently heard of a case where a woman beat up her husband until he was hospitalised.
        Do you recommend here that he moves out? I am not an expert in this matter but I know that Everybody needs God’s wisdom to sort out their home. Thanks for the contribution Ufoms.


    2. I totally agree with you Aijay.
      There is NOTHING that should keep anyone in an abusive relationship.
      However, this matter is more complicated than people may think.
      Sometimes the victim plans to leave but just needs a little more time.
      The truth is that you can never know except you are in it.


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