Why NO ?



“do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control”

The bible expressly admonishes us as Christian couples NOT to stay away from sex but if we are sincere, we know that sexual deprivation is real.
I am not very conversant as to why men deprive their wives of sex but as a woman, I know a few reasons why women may deprive their husbands of sex although we all know what 1 Corinthians 7:5 states.

Husbands would normally hear “I’m tired”, “I don’t feel well”, “I’m sleepy” but these are the excuses. The real reasons are within the heart. The real reason is the lack of an emotional connection, pain during sex, lack of sexual satisfaction, shame from preconceived notions, hormonal imbalance and many other reasons. However, I intend to focus on the five reasons stated above. I will delve into each reason one after the other. so let’s start with:

  1. Emotional Connection – This is a bonding that has nothing to do with SEX. It is connecting intimately and getting so close enough to discuss anything. Knowing that your spouse understands you and knows your needs is exhilarating and allows you to give yourself fully to him. No wife jumps at sex when she feels like an object that is used to satisfy a sexual need. Nobody wants to have sex without being aroused and for women, feeling loved, intimate and close to a spouse is a major turn-on and although a spouse may desire to fulfill these needs, he may not know how to if NEEDS are not expressly communicated.  So, a husband that frequently gets rejected may need to ask his wife certain questions that might cause each spouse  to be uncomfortable. These questions though uncomfortable will make sex mutual, frequent and satisfying.

1.What do I do that turns you on?
2.What can I do to make you more enthusiastic about sex?
3. What is your favorite Position and why?
4. What have I done in the past that you really liked?


Convincing a spouse to give in to a sexual demand works but the truth is, finding the root cause and dealing with it may just open all the padlocks to the sexual intimacy department…

However ladies, remember that communication requires two or more people and in this case, two. You need to speak up as your spouse HONESTLY doesn’t read minds.

If you cannot talk about it, your expectations cannot be met. The result will be FRUSTRATION or even ANGER.

… to be Continued




*…Blog picture [choices ] gotten from  http://spiritualityhealth.com/blog/eve-hogan/10-reasons-say-no-sex  through  google search.


3 thoughts on “Why NO ?

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