Diary of a Pastor’s wife [IV]

woman in the dark.jpg

The lady at the other end of the call was crying  hysterically. I could hardly make out what she said but I heard her mention Ade’s name.

Had something happened to my friend?

I quickly called Ade’s phone as my hand shook and he picked the call and was as cheerful as ever. I explained what had happened with the lady. Without hesitating he told me it was his wife.

His Wife???!!! OMG!!!

Final week …

I knew he was married but I never thought of how our friendship

would affect her. I was so sorry and afraid too…

I thought of deleting all our messages and throwing my sim card away
but Ade had the messages too…  I was so confused and didn’t know
who to talk to. My heart raced so fast I thought it would pop out of my chest …
I had no one to confide in except Bayo. The hours that went by felt like days.
I could barely eat. I was too afraid to tell Bayo.
What if Ade’s wife comes to church to make a scene? Ahh!!!
“ God direct me on what to do” , “ I am ashamed and afraid”.

As for Ade, he made things even more complicated.
He started sending messages to say he had fallen in love with me.


We were just good friends and I thought it was clear.
He demanded that we meet to talk about “US”.
This really freaked me out but not as much as answering
my front door and seeing Ade.

He was standing in front of my door, in my home.
I quickly tried to shut the door but he held the door and walked in.
Ade started saying how we were perfect for each other.
He tried to hold me but I ran into my room and shut the door.
He replayed my sexual fantasies to me and I knew this wasn’t a joke.

I called Bayo and asked him to come home immediately …
He initially told me to give him an hour or two but he suddenly
heard the fear in my voice and told me he was on his way.

Meanwhile, I heard my neighbor inquiring about me from Ade.
After which, I didn’t hear Ade’s voice anymore.
I stayed in the room until Bayo arrived.
He thought we had been robbed because Ade had left the door ajar.

I opened the door with tears flowing freely from my eyes.
Bayo held me close and told me that it was ok.

He had NO Idea …

When I finally put myself together, I told Bayo everything.

Bayo went from shock to disappointment as he went through thousands of messages between Ade and I and for the first time since I knew Bayo, He cried.
He read out some messages that shocked him and I was sooo ashamed .
I had definitely crossed the line.

It felt like a scale dropped from my eyes …
I didn’t realize I had fallen to that extent.
How did I get to the point where I could give another man details
of what I did with my husband?
What was the essence of telling Ade my sexual desires?

I couldn’t recognize myself.

Bayo invited Mr and Mrs Ade Davies but Ade didn’t show up and
once I saw his wife, my heart broke. She was heavy with pregnancy.

With shame, I listened to her plight;
Ade had suddenly started ignoring her and their home,
His phone was all he cared about. Even food didn’t matter anymore.

I had never been so ashamed in my whole life!!!
I knelt down and begged for her forgiveness.
In trying to get rid of my loneliness,
I had created loneliness for her and even worse.
I had experienced loneliness and I knew exactly how it felt.
She didn’t deserve it. No one does…

So far, Bayo and I are trying to mend bridges.
I can sense that he detests me but I hope that he finds it in his heart to forgive me.

I am hopeful…


… Weeks Ahead ??? 



*…Blog picture [woman in the dark ] gotten from google search.

2 thoughts on “Diary of a Pastor’s wife [IV]

  1. I don’t really blame bayo’s wife,
    loneliness can make you unrecognizable even to yourself.
    Married couples should always try to create time for their spouses and leave busy, office matters at the door.


  2. Hi Stella. Like you said, loneliness can lead to making wrong choices.
    That is why it must be managed with God in view…

    Having no one to talk to, gives room for the devil to sow ungodly seeds.

    Marriage should bring with it companionship but that isn’t always the
    case. So, as married Christians, we need to guard against letting someone
    of the opposite sex fill that vacuum.

    We need to build a relationship with God and keep good friends and family close.

    Anyone can fall into thie trap of an emotional affair…


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