…. rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; [tender, gentle, attractive]
let her breasts satisfy thee at all times;
and be thou ravished always with her love.
last week, I wrote about why women would normally say NO!
to sexual intimacy and we looked at emotional connection.
This week we are looking at pain during sex.
You might not believe it, but some women actually feel excruciating pain during intercourse rather that pleasure …
Imagine fetching a glass of water to quench your thirst,
only to find out that it is BITTER!!!
Most times, you would be sure that something must have gone wrong with the glass or that particular bottle of water. The most likely tendency would be to wash or change the glass and where the bitterness persist, then you would get another bottle of water.
Where the water remains bitter, FRUSTRATION will set in …
This is exactly how a woman with vaginismus and
her spouse may feel; FRUSTRATED, GUILTY, ANGRY, REGECTED…
I read about this conditions just recently and I was shocked as to how extreme a case may be. So extreme that a couple may not consummate their marriage for up to One year after the wedding.
Yes it can be that bad!!!
Vaginismus is a painful spasmodic contradiction of the vagina in response to physical contact or pressure especially during sexual intercourse. The painful spasmodic contraction may cause discomfort, pain, problems with penetration or even an inability to have intercourse.
Vaginismus may be primary or secondary.
Primary when the woman has never had a pain free intercourse and secondary when the pain develops after years of pleasurable intercourse.
A couple that has to deal with Vaginismus may be negatively affected, especially when the woman does not communicate how she feels effectively or where her spouse fails to empathize with her.
And although Viginismus may be caused by emotional and physical factors,
It is pertinent to note that a woman doesn’t create it in order to avoid SEX.
It is an involuntary reaction. So, rather than letting anger, frustration and resentment build up, couple needs to understand that this condition isn’t peculiar to them and there is a medical solution.
Vaginismus is a treatable condition which requires good communication from both parties and while the treatment is on going, a couple would need to find activities that will encourage intimacy.
Most importantly, don’t forget to hold hands and pray about the sex department of your marriage. He cares about it too 🙂