These Nigerians …


I met him at the Regional Maritime University….
He read for hours but I couldn’t keep up, I left after a few hours.
I never saw him again till we resumed for the next semester.
This time, he seemed different…..
I never knew he was Nigerian…..
He was as loud as they usually are…..
this was a huge turn off.
He wasn’t the meek young man I had seen studying.

After church on Sunday, I’m standing at the barrier almost fainting from the scorching sun..
It’s him again and he rescues me from my endless wait.
He is so soft-spoken, cautious and thoughtful……
(so different from the last time)These Nigerians are not as bad as we think…
Every country has good and bad people…
I always had a good defense for Voke. My mum didn’t like the idea at all but I had fallen in love and there was nothing anyone would say to convince me. I took delight in washing, cooking, cleaning and even warming his bed.
I soon moved in with Voke. On his part, he made me his queen and treated me as such. Money was never a problem and he lavished my family with a lot of it…
I thought he was a student? Or maybe he was just reading within the school premises…
I couldn’t ask, I didn’t want to quarrel like the last time.
I just wanted the existing peace to continue.

He even gave me his car while he used taxis about…
Life was sooo beautiful! I had become the envy of my course mates, family and friends. “Nigerian men just understand what it means to be the man”

Voke had to travel for a business in Nigeria and I missed him a lot!!
My cash flow reduced drastically, I needed Voke to come back…

One beautiful afternoon while I was preparing to go to class,
I heard a knock on the door.
I was met by two uniformed men.
They wanted to know where Voke was.
“He has gone to Nigeria” I said…
The police came over and over again…He wasn’t back.

Weeks turned to Months and Voke didn’t show up neither did my monthly visitor.

I had to find out what the problem was.
I asked his friends and they all seemed oblivious to his crime or whereabouts.
And that was the beginning of my problems.

How would I find the father of my unborn child?
how would I explain this to my parents?
ahhh, my friends!! How would I cope with school?

I managed to tell my parents and my dad was so disappointed!
However, when he heard that the person responsible was a Nigerian, he went ballistic!!! Daddy  insisted that I get rid of the pregnancy but I was adamant about keeping it.
This brought all sorts of insults my way.
After Aseda was born, the insults didn’t stop.
On the contrary, it got worse.
My mum would refer to Aseda as, “Anago girl” (Nigerian girl).
I was faced with the shame of raising a child whose father I knew almost nothing about.
I was so ashamed! I know he is from Delta State and his name is Voke Ahigbe.
That’s about all! (Sobs)…
I thought of going to Nigeria several times but my friends thought it was a crazy idea.

Taking care of Aseda was so difficult! No one else cared…
My mum even detested the fact that she had Nigerian blood.
My Aseda, my World! She kept me going…
She made it easy for me to continue with my dreams without hating her father.
I wished I could turn back the hands of time but Aseda is so worth it.

Aseda never struggled with school work…
She was so well-behaved. Her good behavior was so striking.
Pre-school to university and she never stopped making me proud.
I wished her dad could see what he was losing out on…
“Voke your daughter is so awesome”.
If I could find him, I would. Just so that he shares my joy…

I’m standing at the airport watching my baby go away…
My baby is all grown up. It’s a bitter-sweet feeling.
God is indeed faithful…Barrister Aseda Ahigbe…

My mother should be so ashamed of how she treated Aseda and I.
She never missed an opportunity to insult me and rain curses on Aseda and her Nigerian ancestry. She made my daughter so timid. I hated her for it. I hated her so much!

I had to move to Kumasi just to protect my daughter from her unforgiveness, hate,bitterness…
I went back year after year hoping that time would have healed her anger but no!
She was filled with it. What did I do that had her so angry?
I was the one that laid on the bed that I made.
I suffered!!
Yes I suffered!!!

My trophy; Aseda has made me proud. Indeed I’m proud.
We talk to each other everyday and my baby is doing well.
I’m busy with my chop bar. Business is good…

Alex has been my rock and I can’t imagine what life would be like without him.
He walked into my life and turned a bad situation around…
He was my bank account. He let me withdraw at will.
I withdrew for school, Aseda and everything I needed money for.
He blessed my life. Moving around with an old Obroni (White person) was so embarrassing but that seemed like my only option.

Soon enough, Aseda finished with her Masters degree and Whooooooo! Aseda is coming home… Mummy is proud as usual (wink).

Tears fill my eyes as I see my baby walking towards me.
I can’t believe my eyes…but we talked everyday?!…
I feel pain in my chest as she approaches me.
I give her a hug while sobbing…”Aseda why?”
She keeps saying, “mummy I’m sorry”.
I had good reasons…
History has repeated itself…o my God! Aseda, pregnant???…

She kept assuring me.

She was sure that I would be against her relationship with Nengi.
She fell in love with him and was sure I would refuse.
She knew she couldn’t let him go because of his nationality.
She was so wrong!
I still believe that there are bad and good people in every country.
I wasn’t going to allow my experience be the yardstick for assessing Nigerians.

I met Nengi and realized that my daughter is far smarter than I .
He was willing to answer my questions without feeling like I was intruding.
I asked a whole lot of questions and we chatted away like friends.

Aseda and Nengi soon tied the knot and moved to Nigeria…

My Aseda is now Mrs Aseda Bob-Manuel.
She made a better choice than her mother, I guess.
Forgot to say, my mum showed up just before Aseda’s wedding.
I have forgiven her…
Working towards a cordial relationship.

Voke left but he left me with the most precious gift.
How can I hate him?
I’m looking forward to going to “NAIJA!!” like Voke would say.

Omugwo on my mind.


*…Blog picture [Nigeria] gotten from  through  google search.





4 thoughts on “These Nigerians …

  1. Beautiful story I must say and you said a lot there for the younger generation.They must not be in a hurry to jump into a relationship without doing their homework on the other is a beautiful thing in respective of the nationality…….we must not let money be the determining factor in a relationship!!! Happy for aseda.


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