Diary of a Trophy Wife [III]

woman thought.jpg

The next morning, Emma was so sorry. He sent text messages telling me how we have eternity to spend together… “Eternity?
What has that got to do with my hymen?”

The days that followed had Emma showering me with the nicest gifts but no explanation as to why he hadn’t slept with his lawfully wedded wife.

As if my problems weren’t enough, his mum called.

Delusional stage…

She informed me of her intended visit at the end of the month. If I was on any contraceptives, I need to discontinue with it because she would be coming with herbs to speed up my ability to conceive.

She reminded me that Emma is an only child and so, the ‘ Family’ is anxious to welcome heirs. Especially Sons.

Hahahahahaha! “ heirs?” “ How?”

I just listened as tears flowed down my cheeks and my heart broke in a thousand pieces. I felt like a prisoner. Like a confused prisoner.

At the end of the month, ‘ mummy’ (Emma’s mum) arrived with the herbs as promised and I sheepishly drank herbal concoctions every morning and evening for one long week. All this while, Emma watched me without saying a word!

How wicked can a man be?
Could it be that his mum is aware of this condition?
Could it be that the concoctions contain some kind of sperm?
Is that how she got pregnant with Emma?
I lost it completely!!!
I became paranoid. Even the most foolish conclusions made sense to me…

I took a peek at explicit movies to be sure that sex involved some sort of penetration and yes!!! It did.

I had two options,
… Speak with someone about my situation or

I chose to speak with someone but who?
For days, I went through my phonebook without being able to figure out the right person to speak with and then I came across a Christian blog for women.
I wrote my story without reservations to this unknown person and I hit the send button…

Few days later, I got a very detailed mail from the only person that knew what I was going through. She made my problem seem so small as she pointed me towards a BIG God. She explained to me that the first step to every problem was to talk to the One who knows the end from the beginning.
I realized that I had cried, screamed and thought but I had never really prayed. I had never really poured out my heart to the One who has the answer to my problem. For the first time, I knelt down and talked to God, Father to daughter.

What great relief it was, I was lighter than I had been for months .

As I moved to her second advice, I was shocked at what I found out .. I couldn’t wait for Emma to return…




*…Blog picture [woman thought] gotten from http://www.crosswalk.com/blogs/debbie-mcdaniel/a-call-for-gods-people-to-pray.html through  google search.

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