The fourth reason why women say No! is one that can be found mostly amongst Christian wives. From infancy, Christian women begin to hear how dirty, sinful and immoral sex is. No one ever mentions that it can be beautiful.
Whether you indulged in sexual activities before marriage or not, the real problem starts after marriage when sex ought to be delved into without any reservations.
For wives who indulged in sexual activities before marriage, sex was equal to sin.
Each time a Christian lady compromised her faith, the guilt that followed lingered for days or even years. Sex was a taboo that should never be talked about or discussed pleasantly. So, this mindset is carried unconsciously into the marriage.
For wives who preserved themselves for marriage, there can also be shame as a result of the notion that sex is inherently immoral or dirty. And switching from NO sex to a vixen in the bedroom can pose a challenge.
Hence, no matter how put-together a woman may look, sexual shame may be a struggle which prevents her from enjoying or consciously desiring sex. Where this is the case, it becomes difficult to participate fully in an authentic expression of sexual desires. Sex becomes so repetitious and mechanical because the preoccupation of such an individual is the shame that she feels.
The shame that a woman feels may be identified by the following.
- Refusal to have sex with lights on.
- Refusal to be affectionate in public.
- Refusal to discuss sex.
- Refusal to participate in more than one sexual position
- Refusal to express sexuality.
- Refusal to admit when sex is enjoyable.
- Nervousness before, during and after sex.
The feeling of shame isn’t a conscious one but it isn’t a disease either.
Discussing it with your spouse would be a good start to feeling comfortable with participating in sexual activities without shame.
Acceptance, love and understanding from a spouse can actually lead to an exciting sex life with NO SHAME!!!
*…Blog picture [shy] gotten from http://www.deafworldweb.org/the-painfully-shy-womans-guide-to-getting-his-attention/ through google search.